If you read this and detect a tone of melancholy, you are right. I am saddened and my heart is breaking. No matter how old or how young a person maybe when they die, the ones left to grieve will do just that. Sometimes we are wise enough to rejoice in the same breath.
We received the news today from the doctors that his time is truly coming to an end. His heart is failing him, and there is nothing left to be done but make him comfortable. It could be this minute, tomorrow, or next year... but one thing is sure, it is trying to give up. And my father, with all his might is saying "No!" But sometimes the will to live is outweighed by the body's will to let go, and I am doing my best to prepare myself for this. What saddens me most, is that I did not take notes. That when he gave me advice as a youth, I turned a cheek out of arrogance. When he bestowed his wisdom to me as a parent, I quieted myself out of pride, and here now he can do no more than mumble my name and hold my hand. Here now, I trim his nails and brush his hair, and tell him about the beautiful tomatoes his grandson has grown in the garden as he looks off into the distance, seemingly gazing at the horizon of his life. I wish so much I knew what thoughts ran through his mind. His years in the Navy, his life by my mother's side, the sweet memories of his grandchildren and the sadness of leaving us all behind. A man with so many stories to tell. The epic novel of his life draws to an end so quietly, and is yet just a sorrowful chapter of my own tale. I hope he knows that all the greatness in me exists because of his love.
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